The Letter
by Lady Sakura17
Summary: A one-shot I made for Near's Birthday! XD Mello is in love with Near and he finds out that the next day is Near's birthday. What a more better way to tell Near his feelings for him. More better than the summarry. Contains Yaoi, no likie, nor readie.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note!!! All credit goes to Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata for creating a kickass series.**

**A/N: Hello there! XD This my first attempt at writing MelloxNear fluff ( an angsty one to be exact…XD) I just typed this 'cause a random idea just jumped into my mind when I was working on my other Death Note fic, Life Note, ( Which will be updated soon!) and of course it's Near's birthday! Yay! (gives Near a birthday cupcake and hug. XD) So yeah, remember this is the first time I have ever written yaoi so I'll gladly accept advice for the future 'cause I'll try to write more for this pairing, maybe even a multi-chapter fic! ^-^**

**Another note: This is kinda of AU cause when L died in the anime and manga, Near was 13 but in here, L died when Near was fourteen, this is what happened the Near's birthday before L's death. Oh, and I was thinking I'd turned this into a three-shot if this gets a positive view, so let me know! XD**

**Rating: T**

**Genre: Romance/ Angst/ General**

* * *

Mello sat on the carpeted floor in the room he shared with Matt at Wammy's House, trying to read a novel he obtained from the library in the orphanage. The sun was barely starting to set and it's orange and golden light flooded from the open window, the sounds of birds and some children playing outside floated in. He sighed, seeing that his mind was starting to loose interest in the book and he let his mind start to wonder on other matters.

The door flung open with a slam, "Hey Mells!" Matt exclaimed, snapping Mello out of his thoughts as the redheaded gamer walked towards Mello was sitting at… "What the hell's the matter with you?!" Mello hissed, slapping Matt upside the head. "Oww! Hey that hurts." Matt said as he rubbed where Mello had hit and he flopped down next to Matt.

"Don't you have anything else to do than to ruin my 'me' time?" Mello asked annoyed that Matt interrupted his quiet time. Matt thought for a moment. "No!" Matt exclaimed as he grabbed a pillow out of nowhere and smacked Mello upside the head with it. "Why the hell you did that for?!" Mello snapped. Matt grinned, "Payback for that bitch slap you gave me earlier. Payback's a bitch, isn't it?" Mello stood up, "Yeah," he reached for his pillow and smacked Matt a couple of times; "it is isn't it?" Matt smacked him back and then it turned out into an all out pillow fight. White feathers floated everywhere and Mello and Matt were, of course, laughing there asses off. Then a boy barged into their room.

"Mello! Ma… am I interrupting something?" the boy said looking at Mello and Matt in mid- pillow fighting. Mello growled, "What is it Jack?" The boy, named Jack, started going into a fit giggling when he remembered what he was about to say. "Out with it Jack!" Mello yelled.

"Oh crap you guys aren't going to believe this!" Jack replied in between snickers and giggles. Mello stood up, "What is it?" Jack took a couple of deep breaths to calm down and continued. "Near was at that pond in the woods behind the House and he almost drowned! L had to go in the pond and fish the little freak out of the pond! Damn is he pathetic! L should've had left him to drown and then you'd be number one huh Mello." Jack continued his fit of laughter, until Mello snarled an shoved him up against the wall, his fist making contact with his stomach.

"What the fuck Mello?" Jack groaned as he held his hurting stomach tight. "You don't talk about Near that way, got it?" Mello hissed.

"Why would you care? I thought you hated Near's guts, unless I'm mistaking?" Jack asked. "You shut the hell up. You know that I will, and I mean never, like Near. Got it."

"Alright, aright gimme a break! Can't a guy have a little fun around here?" Jack asked. Mello just grunted and dropped him to the floor. With that, Jack hurriedly stood back up and ran off out of the room. Mello sighed and started searching his neck and shirt for something. "What are you doing?" Matt said as he closed his black DSi. "For my… Oh yeah that's right." Mello replied sullenly. "Did you forget already? Remember? You and Jack fought at the pond last week and he ripped the rosary off from you and threw it to the deep part of the pond." "Yeah and I kicked his ass after that." Matt laughed, "Yeah well anyways let's go eat dinner, I'm starving!" Matt said and patted his stomach. "Fine let's go." Mello replied to his stripe clad friend. Both of them walked over to dinner room and after an hour, they both walked down the hall to their room in silence.

Matt spoke, breaking the silence, "Why do you always do you always do that?"

Mello bit off a chunk out of his chocolate bar, "What do you mean?"

Matt sighed, " I mean, " they reached their room, go tin and continued, " you and I both know that you are in love with Near, yet when you're around him or if someone else brings him up, you talk and treat him like crap!"

"Not this again Matt," Mello replied as he ran a hand through his golden locks of hair. "I can't just go up and tell him that I'm madly in love with him! He'll just think that I'm just playing some mind game so that he'll get too distracted with me and lose his spot as number one, not to mention he'll reject me! This is way too hard for me!" Mello exclaimed. Matt sighed, "Do you ever stop to wonder if Near feels the same way?" Mello sighed and then there was a knock at the door. "I'll get it." Matt said and walked to the door and opened it.

"Hi Linda." Matt greeted.

"Hi Matt, do you have any scotch tape I can borrow? I ran out days ago." Linda asked walking inside. "Yeah sure." Matt replied going over to one of his drawers looking for his tape.

Mello scoffed, "What's all that crap for?" Linda was a roll of silver wrapping paper, a red gift bow, a card and a box that had a limited edition Gundam

Linda scoffed back, "Well for your information, tomorrow's Near's birthday and I'm going to give him a present. I expect that you aren't going to give him nothing."

"Tomorrow's Near's birthday?" Matt asked giving the scotch tape to Linda.

"Yup that's right. Rumor has it that tomorrow on the 24th is his birthday. Anyways, thanks for the tape Matt!" Linda said as she walked out. "Don't mention it!" Matt called out and closed the door.

"Well I'm hitting the hay." Matt said as he changed out of his clothes to his stripped pajamas and removed his gold tinted goggles. "Night!" Matt said and turned off the lamp light and settled into his Halo sheets. "Yeah goodnight." Mello murmured and he turned off his lamp and went to bed.

It was already a quarter to four and Mello was still tossing and turning, unlike Matt, who was snoring like a lion after dinner. _' So it's Near's birthday today huh?" _He smiled and he sat up abruptly, an idea popped into his head. Mello quietly grabbed hi pillow, some stationery, and his fountain pen and he quietly slipped out of his room.

Mello ran so quietly down the halls of the House until he made it to a certain staircase. He ran up it and made it to a small wooden door. He opened it and stepped in, the wooden floorboards creaking as he did so. Mello thought of the attic as a personal space. Sure it was dusty and old but it didn't matter to him. Mello even found and old oak wood desk, a chair, an old cot, a bookcase filled with old mystery/ horror novels. The attic was crowded with old and forgotten stack of boxes and chests and nobody else knew about it, except for L. He had found Mello here once during his visits and he promised to keep it between themselves.

Mello walked over to one of the chests and opened it and viewed it contents. Inside there was a small basket filled with yarn, a thick book entitled 'Book of Sewing' and scraps of clothes. Mello took out the basket, the book and walked over to the desk and turned the lamp on.

"_How the hell am I going to do this if I don't know how to fuckin' sew!?" _Mello thought. "Aw screw it!" He exclaimed and went right to work.

August 24th- 5:45 AM

Near woke up to the sounds of birds chirping and some random dogs barking in the distance. He sat up in his bed, rubbed his slate grey eyes, and checked the time. 5:45AM. Fifteen minutes before he usually awakens. He stood up and padded over his dresser and pulled out another pair of his usual white pajamas. After his little morning routine, he made his way over to the door. He opened it and stared at the items he almost tripped over in wonder.

Propped up against the doorframe was a brand new teddy bear made out of cream colored corduroy cloth, shiny black buttons for eyes, and there was an envelope that was clearly labeled "Near" in some gothic font. He crouched down and picked up the teddy bear and opened the envelope. _' A letter…' _Near thought as he started reading the letter that was written in beautiful calligraphy:

"_Dearest Near, _

_Love is the greatest feeling,Love is like a play,Love is what I feel for you,Each and every day,Love is like a smile,Love is like a song,Love is a great emotion,That keeps us going strong,I love you with my heart,My body and my soul,I love the way I keep loving,Like a love I can't control,So remember when your eyes meet mine,I love you with all my heart,And I have poured my entire soul into you,Right from the very start._

_To make it simple Near, I love you so much, so much I can't even stand it. At first I thought, "How can I love my very own enemy? I hate him!" But as time went on, and I looked past your stoic, cold outer being and saw the emotional human side of you. I know that you might think that I'm just getting my emotions get the better of me, as I always do, an you think that this some sick joke, but I assure it's not. I understand if you don't feel the same way but I'd like to set aside our rivalry and become friends, and if you do feel the same, please meet me at that giant oak tree by the pond at 6:00 AM. _

_Sincerely, _

_Mello_

_P.S. - Happy fourteenth birthday Nate River (Matt hacked into the mainframe a long time ago and I found out your name from there.)_

Near's cheeks were blushing bright pink by the time he finished the letter. He ran back inside his room and checked his wall clock, which read 5:55 AM. _"I still have time…" _Near grabbed the teddy bear gave it one, big, squeezing hug and ran out his room with it. He raced down the halls and staircases like a bolt, a complete white blur to anyone who could've seen him.

He reached the huge, wooden oak doors that lead to the outside of the House. He opened them without making any sound and slid out. Near ran quickly down the front steps and ran as fast as he could to the wood behind the orphanage.

It's needless to say how many times Near tripped on the way to the pond because it showed on how many times he stumbled and tripped on the way. There were small tears on hi once clean white pajamas, the small twigs and leaves sticking out from his curly, platinum silver hair, but then again, it never really mattered to him.

Mello was impatiently rocking back and forth on his feet waiting for his only love to come. He checked his wristwatch for the umpteenth time. 5:59 AM. _"Maybe h doesn't feel the same…"_

"Mello!"

Mello quickly turned around to the source of the voice and ran to it. Near ran down the shores of the pond and so did Mello and they both met into a loving embrace.

"Yes." Near whispered into Mello's shirt.

"What?" Mello asked. Near looked up to Mello and smiled, "Yes I do love you." then he stood on his tippy toes and pressed his lips to Mello's and wrapped his arms around Mello's neck. Mello, a little surprised that he made such a bold move, but immediately kissed back, wrapping his arms around Near's petite waist, bringing him closer to him. Near flushed a bit when he felt Mello kiss back and even more when Mello licked Near's bottom lip a little shyly. Near parted his lips enough for Mello to slip his tongue in. Mello explored inside Near's mouth and then both tongues battled for dominance, Mello winning at the end. They both parted lips breathlessly. Damn that need to breath.

"So does that mean we're a couple?" Near asked innocently. Mello chuckled at the cute innocent Near staring up at him. " Of course we are, but I have one question. Why did you almost drowned at the pond yesterday? I almost got a heart attack when I heard."

"Because, I knew Mello- kun would want this back." Near reached into his left sleeve and pulled out the one thing Mello thought that he might not ever see again. His rosary looked exactly the same way it looked before ethat asshole Jack ripped it. The new red beads were shiny and thus made it look newer. Near placed Mello's rosary on Mello's neck.

"Near…" Mello whispered in disbelief and held the new brass cross in his hands. " No I have on question for you," Near smiled, " Where did you get the teddy bear you left me at my door?" Mello slimed and took his hands out of his pockets and Near gasped. Mello's fingers were covered with tiny red pricks. "You…" Near whispered. "I used my pillow's stuffing for the stuffing for the bear." Mello replied. Both of them looked into each other's eyes and were coming closer…

"HOLY CRAP!!! MELLO?!"

Mello and Near immediately stopped and looked at the giant hedge and what do you know? Pop comes out Matt and Linda. Matt had a 'Holy S**t' look on his face and Linda looked like she was about to burst into tears any second.

"Aw man Mello! I know you have guts but I never thought that you'd tell him! Gimme five!" Matt held his arm high for a high five but Mello just growled at him and Linda.

"I'm… gonna… KILL YOU!!!" Mello chased Matt and Linda, yelling out profanities at both of them while Matt and Linda begged for mercy from the raging blonde.

Near just giggled at the sight and looked out to the clear blue August morning skies. _"This is the best birthday ever…" _He closed his eyes and made his birthday wish. He wished that he'd hade more days like this, that he and Mello would always be together and nothing could go wrong. But then came November….

**

* * *

**

A/N: Ha-ha! I managed to somewhat squeeze some angst in…XD lol, please review! ^-^ Oh and give your opinion if I should continue it.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:**** I do not own Death Note!!! All credit goes to Tsugumi Obha and Takeshi Obata for creating a kickass series! **

**Author's Note: Wow! Well, the reviews for 'The Letter' asked that I continued it so I'm holding up my side of the deal! :D Like I said, this is going to be a three-shot so the next chapter is going to be the last so you know. DX Well don't have nothing else to say but… please review! ^^**

**Quick Note PLEASE READ BEFORE YOU READ!!!: I'm going to be honest, I have not watched Death Note in a while(gasp!) so therefore, that scene where Roger told Mello and Near that L was dead I'm doing completely on memory. So if they say the wrong things, I'm sorry and like I said in the first chapter, this is an AU fic so I'm going to throw some stuff in that scene so don't review saying 'This didn't happen in the episode!' cause you should've read this note! **

**Another thing: When you see these: (1),(2),(3), etc.), it means there's an author's note at the end. And Mello is a tad ( okay a lot) OCC.**

**

* * *

**

November 5, 2004 (1)

" What is it Roger?"

" It's L he's dead."

It felt like a bomb dropping to both Mello and Near. Near seemed unfazed by the Roger's answer, of course and continued working on his beloved L puzzle, but in the inside… he just wanted to go to some deserted part of the orphanage and just let it all out.

Mello… he just couldn't believe it. How could L let that happen? He had promised Mello that he was going to defeat Kira and win but… Mello couldn't believe it was the other way around in the end.

" So Mello, how about it? You and Near work together?"

Mello gasped.

" Alright, sounds good." Near replied, still paying more attention to his puzzle than Roger. Mello fidgeted. " It'll never work Roger." Cold silence stifled the air in the room as the late autumn breeze blew the last dead brown leaf outside.

" You know what it's fine."

Roger looked up.

" Near should be the one to succeed L. He's not like me he doesn't emotional. He just uses his head like if it's some game or puzzle." Near placed the final piece of his puzzle in place and looked at Mello from the corner of his eye.

" As for me I'm leaving this institution." Mello turned around and started walking to the door.

Roger stood up, " Wait Mello."

" Don't waste your breath, I'm almost fifteen years old. It's time I start living my own life." Before Mello could reach the door, he felt something pulling him back. He looked down and saw Near holding onto his black pant leg. Near looked at him with his hollow storm cloud grey eyes, trying to say something through them, but Mello just ripped Near's hand off his leg and walked out. Near just sat there with his eyes glued to the wooden door for what seemed forever to him and finally stood up and walked out silently, taking his L puzzle with him.

Mello stormed down the halls, the other kids stepping out of his way as he made his way to his room. Mello slammed the door open. Matt, who was sitting on the edge of his bed playing Halo on the his Xbox, fell over and landed on his butt on the floor. " Hey what's your problem?!" Matt cried as he stood up rubbing his butt.

" I'm leaving this place. L is dead." Mello muttered softly but loud enough for Matt to hear.

" What?"

Mello grabbed a black bag out of his closet and began stuffing inside some clothes and two pairs of sneakers. He went over to his bed took from under an old tin container. He opened it and took out his total savings he had accumulated over the years he spent here, a total of 1,996 **(2)**, a small black leather bible that his mother had given him a long time ago, and some odd number of chocolate bars. He hastily zipped up his bag and flung it on his shoulder.

" Bye Matt." Mello said quietly and walked over to the door.

" Not so fast chocolate boy." Matt muttered, staring at his feet.

" And what that's supposed to mean?" Mello asked annoyed.

Matt stood up, still looking at his feet and walked over to Mello and grasped Mello's arm in a death grip. " You're not going anywhere."

Mello growled a bit, " Matt what do- huh?" Matt looked up at Mello but that didn't got Mello, what got him was that Matt was crying. Matt's vivid emerald green eyes was spilling tears out and rolled down his cheeks. Mello had never, in his life, seen his gamer roommate cry, ever.

Matt sniffed, " You can at least have the decency to say goodbye to _him _before you runaway." Mello felt his stomach drop. It him leaving sound even worse. " I can't. I'll hurt him."

" And you don't think that you leaving will hurt Near at all?!" Matt cried, stomping his feet on the floor. Mello looked at the floor then back up at him. " He'll be fine, I know it." Matt sniffed, " Still go say something to him." Mello was silent, " Fine." He walked out and shut the door. Outside the hall, Mello stood next to his room door and he heard Matt faintly crying. He closed his eyes tightly and sighed. _" I'm sorry Matt." _Mello thought and walked down the hall to Near's room.

When Mello made it to Near's room, the door was wide open and he could see Near crouching down on the floor playing with a puzzle. He stood there quietly spying him.

" What does Mello want." Near said coldly.

" I just want to say goodbye before I left." Mello said as he walked in, closing the door behind him.

" He doesn't have to…" Near whispered as he finished his puzzle and stared at the white carpet. They were silent. " Why does Mello have to leave?" Near muttered. " What? I have to." " He doesn't have to leave and leave me all alone!" Near slammed fist pale fist onto his finished puzzle, hundreds and hundreds of pieces flying all over. Mello ran over and held Near tightly. Near was trembling terribly and he finally broke down and wept into Mello's shoulder. Mello rubbed his back soothingly. " There, there it's alright." Mello soothed. That only made Near's grip tighter. Near sniffled and stuttered, " I- I don't want M-Mello to l-leave m-me all a-alone." Mello broke his embrace and looked at Near. "Please stop crying Near, I have to do this." he cupped Near's face in his hands and used his thumbs to wipe the tears coming down Near's porcelain like cheeks. " Is it because Mello is upset because they told me I get to succeed L?" Mello felt his heart sink. That half the reason he was leaving. Mello opened his mouth to say something but Near quickly cut him out. " Mello's silence tells me everything, you don't have to explain it to me. Mello now hates me, just please leave my room now." Near pointed to the door, looking at his feet.

" Nea-"

" Now before I lose my patients." Near replied coldly. Mello silently stood up and walked next to Near, reaching out and wrapped his arms around Near's petite waist.

" What is--" Mello cut Near off as he pressed his lips against Near's. He pulled away and Mello walked over to the door, leaving a blushing pink Near standing there wide eyed. Mello stopped before he reached the hall. " I'll always love you Near." Mello said before he closed the door. Near stood there staring at the wall, trying to register what has occurred. He widened his eyes. What did he do?! Near ran to his window and looked out side. It was dark, grey and really pouring rain outside. Raindrops tapped onto the glass of his windows and gasped quietly when he saw Mello. Mello walked out the gates but stopped and turned around to give one last look at the place that raised him since he can remember. He turned around and continued walking down the road and out of Near's sight.

Near started quiver, " Mello," he sunk to the floor and onto his knees, " I still love you too, no matter what happens…" Near wept again, clutching the stuffed bear Mello had given him on his fourteenth birthday close to his chest. It was there when he remembered the wish he said in his mind about him and Mello always being together. " I feel so alone…" he whispered into his bear.

His wish didn't came true….

**

* * *

**

A/N: Yay!!! I finally updated! :D I would've update sooner but my internet decided to go off and on on me for the past couple of days. So if you review and I don't reply back that's most likely reason why. ): Reviews are appreciated!!! (:

(1) L died on that day right?

(2) You can raise that much in 14 years canyou?


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note: **I meant to post this up for Sunday but damn it I didn't. XD Oh and you goignto have to read 'The Letter' so it can make sense.

* * *

Near swiftly walked down the vast halls of the orphanage in total silence. He didn't bothered to even look up but instead stared down at the little parcel in his small pale hands with a piercing stare. He didn't care if he bumped into someone accidentally, even if that person happened to be Aiden ( A/N: FYI, this is not A) or any of his stupid goons. The group of boys had tormented Mello and Near since they could remember. Not even that scares him anymore. Nothing to him mattered to him anymore…

He made a sharp turn to the corridor and continued down the halls and made a turn. He slowly stared up the winding first story staircase; his grey eyes still glued to the parcel. Once he made it to the second floor, he immediately felt drowned in a wave of clamor and noise.

Near felt that the entire orphanage was all cramped into the hallway all with one common goal; They all wanted answers. Near got pushed and shoved but somehow he managed to not to lose his gaze off the parcel. Near got shoved again and bumped into someone.

" Hey! Watch where you're-- Near?" Near took a quick glance. It was Linda. He never thought that the pigtailed girl will ever be here of all places; he thought that she hated _him…_

" Hello Linda," Near murmured, " I apologize for bumping into you."

" It's okay," she replied, " But what are you doing here? I thought that you, of all people, will be up there with Matt."

" I was on my way… I didn't expect that the whole orphanage will be up here looking for answers to their questions…"

" Actually, Roger was here half an hour ago to try to clear things up but that wasn't enough."

" I see," Near replied. He sighed and continued on forward.

" Near you don't have to do this." Linda called out. Near stopped in his tracks and said, " What is Linda implying?"

" This, you know," she sighed, " Your façade, you don't have to pretend anymore. I perfectly know the things that used to go on between you and Mello and after he left… Please Near, don't go on like this! Who knows what will happen if you do."

Near remained silent but he turned around to face her. When brown met grey, Linda gasped. Near's gaze seemed distant and deep, but most of all, this is the first time Linda had ever saw hurt being reflected in his eyes. Time seemed to slow down as he said, " I'm not doing this because I want to, I'm doing this because I need to…." he turned back and started walking through the crowds while Linda stood there unmoving.

* * *

Near finally looked up when he reached his destination. The infirmary was a place that Near wasn't to fond about but needless, he had to go in there. He opened the door and walked in.

The foul scent of cleaning solutions and disinfectants made Near's stomach lurch but he continued walking until he reached the empty desk.

" Near!" An fairly middle-aged woman said as she walked in with a clipboard in her rubber gloved hands. " hat are you doing here? Don't tell me that you're hurt again?"

" No it's not that," Near muttered, " I came to see Matt."

The nurse's face turned concerned, " Are you sure? He was pretty injured when we found him. He needs all the rest he can get at this point."

" I'm sure. I merely came to have a talk with him."

The nurse chuckled, " Alright."

Near thanked the nurse and he continued walking to the door in front of him. He opened the door and he quietly closed it behind him.

The soft padding noise softly echoed as Near walked over to the one bed in the corner of the room. Near walked to the side of the bed and analyzed the scene before him in his mind.

Matt lied there, obviously in an anesthesia-induced sleep, his facial expression calm and serene, for once, those goggles that he almost _never _takes off were now lying innocently on the little table next to the bed. A little needle was up Matt's right arm and there was bandages on his arms. Near went up to him and brushed stray locks of brown ( A/N: Yes, fan art lied to us, MATT'S HAIR IS BROWN IN THE ANIME [ With blue eyes too]!!! Lol, but whatever, I still say that red hair suits him better. ^-^) away from Matt's face and he seated himself at the foot of Matt's bed. Near stared at Matt's face for a long time. Matt's face started to cringe and slowly, he opened his eyes and looked up at the ceiling.

" Matt was stupid for doing what he did earlier."

Matt's blue gaze fell to Near and managed to say, " N-Near? W-What are you doing here?" Near stayed silent and Matt just smiled tiredly and chuckled, " Huh, I guess a ' How are you feeling?' is out of the question."

Near just blinked and Matt sighed, " I'm fine thank you."

" Does Matt realize what he did earlier?" Near asked. Matt sighed, " Please, just drop it."

" I'm not going to ' drop it'."

" Near, please, I don't want to hear it."

" Why did you do that? What motivated him to do something as stupid as that?"

" Near you don't--"

Near shook his head slowly, " Matt's wrong, I do understand. Attempting to fall to your death and trying to bleed to death…. You were filled with grief that Mello had--"

" Stop it Near, you don't know if that was him."

" Does Matt know that he could've died today--"

" I PERFECTLY KNOW WHAT I DID AND YES, I KNOW I COULD'VE DIED TODAY AND I WOULDN'T GIVE A DAMN!"

Near stayed silent and Matt sighed, " Look, sorry but you didn't understand."

" As much as I don't want to believe it, I'm sure that it was his body that they found."

" Near stop it! It wasn't him!"

Near stared at his lap and he heard Mat starting to sob. " Matt, please try to calm down, obviously it's not good for you in your state."

Matt wiped his nose with his sleeve and said, " And what about you?"

Near looked up startled by Matt's question, " What do you mean."

" Don't play dumb with me. When Roger told us about the train crash in London and he told us of that they found Mello's body in the train, you had they look that you wanted to break down right there."

" Matt was probably seeing stuff because he himself was crying right then and there."

" Oh, stop it with this you talking in third person! I don't know why you do that but it's starting to piss me off."

" It's not my intent to make Matt so angry--"

" Near shut up! Shut up and take a moment to freakin' think! Think back to four months ago, when Mello surprised you on your birthday and you smiled for the very first time, to when he told you ' I love you' and you broke down crying 'cause you said nobody in your entire damn life said that they loved you, to when you fell off from the dock at the lake and Mello came in to save you from drowning, to when you and Mello obviously slept together--"

Near turned bright pink and Matt said, " The walls in this orphanage are very thin Near. I heard _everything." _Near looked down embarrassed and Matt continued.

" Think back Near, to all those times and tell me, don't you feel a bit sad that he is gone for good?"

Near thought long and hard and suddenly, the tiniest shards of memories he had locked inside the deep crevices of his mind came rushing back to him.

' _I love you..'_

' _Near hold on!'_

' _We don't have to do this…'_

' _Why are you crying?…'_

' '_cause I love Mello-kun too…'_

' _Please don't ever leave me…'_

' _Mello…'_

Matt was surprised when Near broke down into sobs and cried hard into his sheets. Near's façade finally crumbled. Matt quickly went over and stared to hold the small boy and rub his back soothingly.

" I-It's my fault." Near choked.

" No it isn't." Matt replied.

" Yes it is! If I haven't spoken up when both of us were informed of L's death, he'll probably still be here."

" Near, you know Mello, he probably still would've left."

" Maybe, but if he did, he'll left without hating me…"

Matt looked down at Near, " What? He told you he hated you?"

Near looked up at Matt with big, grey orbs and said, " Not exactly but I've always felt that he did when he left."

Matt embraced Near again and said, " Near, I know Mello, he probably doesn't hate you."

Near cried even more and harder and Matt held onto him tighter. After awhile, Near wiped his eyes and said, " Do you think he's watching us?"

Matt wiped his own eyes and asked, " Who?"

" You know, Mello. He always believed that when somebody died, they either go to Heaven of Hell. Do you think that he's looking down on us?"

" You mean like an angel?" Matt asked.

Near smiled and nodded. Matt smiled, " Probably, and maybe, wherever he is right now, he's probably protecting you."

" And don't forget Matt-kun."

Matt chuckled, " Yeah and me too."

Near smiled sadly, " I going to miss Mello-kun…."

Tears slowly rolled down Matt's deep blue eyes and replied, " Yeah me too…."

They both held each other crying softly. Both paid no attention to the frenzy outside.

Soft snow fluttered outside from the bleak overcast skies for the first time.

* * *

Later that night, things seemed to have calmed down a lot more. Near once again walked down the lonely dark halls of Wammy's House, a single white lit candle lighting his way.

The white clad figure reached his destination and, with a heavy heart, opened the door.

Matt doesn't live in his old room anymore. Too much memories for him too handle and he made an agreement with Roger and he moved out to a different room. The room was dark, except for the glowing flame, and Near walked up the nightstand. Carefully, Near placed the candle on the nightstand. The golden light illuminated not only the only known picture of Mello genuinely smiling, but also dimly lit the small memorial ( or shrine?…) him and Matt made. Near reached into his baggy white sleeve of his pajama top and placed a folded piece of paper, an unwrapped piece of paper, and a white rose onto the little shrine. ( memorial?…)

Near clutched his teddy bear, the one Mello gave him for his birthday, brought his other hand to his head and he let his fingers intertwine with his soft silver curls.

" Matt told me they were your favorite…" Near said after a short period of silence. He sighed and he continued, " You know that Matt almost tried to kill himself. I guess that he was so distraught of the news of you dying hat it drove him off the deep end. I don't know if I believe in God or not but if there really is a thing as angels or Heaven, I guess you saved him and myself. How me you ask? How Matt opened my eyes and I knew, I didn't have to pretend no more. I didn't have to bottle up my emotions anymore." Near gripped his bear and continued, " I know you tried to go out and try to catch Kira yourself, but I'll do it for you. I'm going to find and arrest Kira for you and L." Near stared at the candle and he stood up and began to walk away, when he reached the doorframe, Near whispered, " Happy birthday Mello…" and he closed the door.

The wind blew and the window shutters opened. The cold winter breeze blew into he room and the note that Near wrote fluttered to the other side of the room and unfolded. The wind kept blowing as if it were reading it….

' _You know it's been a little over a month since you left. A lot has changed since then. Matt seems to be off in his own world nowadays. He mostly stares off into space; he doesn't even touch his Gameboy anymore. I guess your leaving must have hit him the hardest. I wouldn't blame him though, you did just up and left without saying goodbye to him, and all you did was left him his rosary. I vaguely remember you saying it was up to you to keep Matt and I's ' sorry souls' from burning in Hell for all eternity, and then, you gave a little silver rosary and I guess you saved Matt's until you left. If you saw him now, you'll probably not even recognize him. His brown hair grew a tad bit and grew unruly, his blue eyes are dull and void and are always red as if he cried, his clothes are all wrinkled, and he never takes off his goggles. He rarely smiles or talks, and if he did, it's probably a fake smile of a short-lived conversation. He's just a shell of what he used to be. He nearly almost tried to take his life. First, he tried to jump off the building but I guess something clicked inside him and he didn't jump. We all thought that he was alright. Boy, were we wrong. After about while, we found Matt locked inside his room, a blood-stained razor in is right hand and blood starting to pool around his unconscious body. Luckily, he lived though I'm still worried about him…._

_Even the entire orphanage seems more quieter. You remember Aiden? Well, he never picks on me, in fact, he doesn't even spares a passing glance. I guess it's not worth it to him anymore…_

_Classes are even more boring than ever before. And the days seem drag on like years. _

_I wonder where you are right now. Are you in Heaven? Or in Hell? When we hear the news, my entire world felt as if it were crashing down. I heard that the train that you were in was heading to Russia, since your family used to have ties with the Russian Mafia. I highly doubt that you could've considered joining the Mafia, you don't look like you could even become a criminal…_

_Did you really die? Or you just wanted to play a sick joke on everybody and you're hiding out in the forest. Though that's highly impossible, everyday since then… I wish it were true. I miss you Mello and so does Matt and everybody else. Though it's not possible we might not ever meet again, I wish that we do someday…_

_Goodbye Mello… I love you…._

_-Near_

The wind died down gradually and then it speed right back up, taking the note with it and flying out the window and into the moonlit skies.

* * *

_Ah! This was supposed to be up for Mello's birthday but I didn't finish it on time. XD Lol, this is the ending for my two-shot I made called the Letter so yeah..XD Please review! ^^_

_~Lady Sakura17 _


End file.
